podcast version available on spotify
remember that creating a successful marriage is like farming you have to start over & over every morning-M Jackson Brown Jr.
Looking through a black mans purview
The longest standing institution is that of the institution of marriage. A lot of people say that it’s a waste of time and that it is dying out. I, personally, was one of those people; who as a youth said I’d never marry. As I grew, I never thought that the idea of marriage that I had implanted in my brain would change. I grew up watching two of the strongest women I know, do it all without a man. So, in my head I thought: Why would I need to marry if they did it alone? But marriage is more than just two people paying bills together or just being together for a long period of time, it’s two people who see themselves in each other or they see the half of themselves that they never had on their own. It’s two people waking up everyday and pushing past all the underlaying BS and creating a diamond out of the pressure life provides. There is an old saying that goes:
”Each person was created with two heads, four arms, four legs and two hearts; and when you are put in the womb you are split in half,”
And that’s the reason you spend your whole life looking for your other half… When you think about it; that makes the most sense and the institution of marriage was meant to be a way to rejoin those two missing halves. That being said; most halves will be opposites to compensate for something that you as an individual might have been lacking, that’s why they are your “other half”. But in this day and age when everyone wants to be “the one who doesn’t get played” or so independent, they have no need to fight for their relationship. The aspect of quitting has become such a social norm that you could have found your other half, but walked away from it because you think that a relationship shouldn’t be “work”. Everything in life from growing tomatoes, to tying your shoe is work. Why shouldn’t your relationship/marriage be work, also? There isn’t a thing on this plant, that with more effort, doesn’t come out to be better. So, if you applied that logic to your marriage, why wouldn’t you end up with the best marriage or relationship you could imagine? It isn’t that marriage is a dying institution, it’s that the fight for love and happiness is dying out. People wake up and expect to be happy or wake up an expect that a loving and happy relationship will be handed to them, or appear out of thin air. And it will never be so easy…
With that I’ll leave you with these last words:
“There are no PERFECT husbands and no PERFECT wives, but if you’ll keep believing in each other, there will be plenty of PERFECT moments in your marriage.”
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